Reason why i am still single is this--> (so dont fucking ask me again why i am c-| )
North Indian Algorithm Of Getting Girls
Phase1
1. Sit amongst your friends and spot a chick and lock your target on her like an eternal despo.
2. Stalk her on fb, follow her around and eventually you get to know her friends n movements n all..
3. Find a guy friend of hers whom you got to know from 2 and make him a mutual one.
4.Use him to get her in a pre-planned situation with your mutual. Eventually you drop by and make him introduce you to her and vice versa.
Now the poor giirl thinks you are not a creepy despo (which you are) and you just 'happened' to meet her just like one of her favorite 'bollywood' movies..
Phase2
5. Become a blood sucking fevicol and attend her hang outs and keep the mutual guy pretty close.
6. Eventually you exchange no.s with her and start whats called the 'phone complications'... Through this you go from 'friend' to 'close friend' to 'closer friend' to more... This part basically includes cheesy smses and stuff.
7. And finally when you have fed her with enough complications to completely leave her confused, you find the right time and then do what they call 'propose'
(weird! people here dont know the difference between 'propose' which is used as in marraige proposals and 'confess' which i guess is the right word but then hey, you cant help it, its north india sweetheart..)
8. If she accepts it you take her out on a coffee and if she doesnt you go back to your pile of single friends and bitch about her and say shit and look for your next target.
So, thats how it works over here. Not that i hate north indians (i actually have a lot of good friends, guys and girls) but frankly speaking, wearing mini skirts and getting drunk doesnot show you are modernised. In the rest of the world the algorithm is simple.
1. You walk up to a pretty girl and strike a conversation.
2. and then If she is interesting (which she might or might not be,), ask her out for a coffee.
3. Take her around and if you guys are compatible and commute then move on from 'dating' to a 'relationship' or else retire back and stay friends and part ways....
See, its that simple for the rest of the world but that aint gonna work here, why?
coz..
1. guys are 'afraid' of girls. (in a mall, i asked a friend of mine to go hit on a girl, he told me he almost had a heart attack while walking upto her! :D )
2. girls get freaked out by strangers. (A friend of mine who is a girl, told me to keep chatting with this chick for '2 months' before i ask her to come out for a coffee! :D )
Even though its all weird from an alien eye but this puzzling society is also self consistent and logical. The girl is never really sure if he is going to get drunk and stick a fucking rod inside her crotch (Delhi rape case... you never hear these anywhere else....) or creep her out in some other of his exotic ways...
And even the guy has to fake the entire thing and make that classic 'bollywood' entry (so that the girl doesnt consider him to be a psycho creepy rapist or something, which clearly he is not mosta the time)... and then pretend to be a casual innocent friend who sometimes looses it and acts funny and confusing (thats how you incorporate the cheesy smses n everything..) and finally hit her before she knows it. If you dont fake it, she ll freak out.... and if you arent smart enough you might just scare the girl away.
Not all the guys make it though, most of the time the guys after the entire of his 4 months' struggle just get 'bro-zoned' , 'friend-zoned' n all types of other special 'zones' are there.
Many times the guy infatuates so much along the way coz notice the guy is after the girl like mad for such a long time and that too even without knowing her that well. And its because of this heavy infatuation that at the end when she says 'no', he will finally get to know that he has a pair of balls hanging around his dick and how he expresses this feeling is by 'bitching' about her, saying random shit about her n all( not all of them do that though)... many times guys are even found commiting suicides, crying like a fat cry baby n many other types of simmilar activities are being seen in heart broken north indian guys.. (notice, all that for some pretty face that he didnt even get to know that well on the 1st place...)
Weird part of the story is this that this never ending cheesy story based on a 'despo' guy faking it all along and a 'proud' girl daydreaming in some unrealistic bollywood land is called 'love'.
Seriously, give me a break..... -__-
North Indian Algorithm Of Getting Girls
Phase1
1. Sit amongst your friends and spot a chick and lock your target on her like an eternal despo.
2. Stalk her on fb, follow her around and eventually you get to know her friends n movements n all..
3. Find a guy friend of hers whom you got to know from 2 and make him a mutual one.
4.Use him to get her in a pre-planned situation with your mutual. Eventually you drop by and make him introduce you to her and vice versa.
Now the poor giirl thinks you are not a creepy despo (which you are) and you just 'happened' to meet her just like one of her favorite 'bollywood' movies..
Phase2
5. Become a blood sucking fevicol and attend her hang outs and keep the mutual guy pretty close.
6. Eventually you exchange no.s with her and start whats called the 'phone complications'... Through this you go from 'friend' to 'close friend' to 'closer friend' to more... This part basically includes cheesy smses and stuff.
7. And finally when you have fed her with enough complications to completely leave her confused, you find the right time and then do what they call 'propose'
(weird! people here dont know the difference between 'propose' which is used as in marraige proposals and 'confess' which i guess is the right word but then hey, you cant help it, its north india sweetheart..)
8. If she accepts it you take her out on a coffee and if she doesnt you go back to your pile of single friends and bitch about her and say shit and look for your next target.
So, thats how it works over here. Not that i hate north indians (i actually have a lot of good friends, guys and girls) but frankly speaking, wearing mini skirts and getting drunk doesnot show you are modernised. In the rest of the world the algorithm is simple.
1. You walk up to a pretty girl and strike a conversation.
2. and then If she is interesting (which she might or might not be,), ask her out for a coffee.
3. Take her around and if you guys are compatible and commute then move on from 'dating' to a 'relationship' or else retire back and stay friends and part ways....
See, its that simple for the rest of the world but that aint gonna work here, why?
coz..
1. guys are 'afraid' of girls. (in a mall, i asked a friend of mine to go hit on a girl, he told me he almost had a heart attack while walking upto her! :D )
2. girls get freaked out by strangers. (A friend of mine who is a girl, told me to keep chatting with this chick for '2 months' before i ask her to come out for a coffee! :D )
Even though its all weird from an alien eye but this puzzling society is also self consistent and logical. The girl is never really sure if he is going to get drunk and stick a fucking rod inside her crotch (Delhi rape case... you never hear these anywhere else....) or creep her out in some other of his exotic ways...
And even the guy has to fake the entire thing and make that classic 'bollywood' entry (so that the girl doesnt consider him to be a psycho creepy rapist or something, which clearly he is not mosta the time)... and then pretend to be a casual innocent friend who sometimes looses it and acts funny and confusing (thats how you incorporate the cheesy smses n everything..) and finally hit her before she knows it. If you dont fake it, she ll freak out.... and if you arent smart enough you might just scare the girl away.
Not all the guys make it though, most of the time the guys after the entire of his 4 months' struggle just get 'bro-zoned' , 'friend-zoned' n all types of other special 'zones' are there.
Many times the guy infatuates so much along the way coz notice the guy is after the girl like mad for such a long time and that too even without knowing her that well. And its because of this heavy infatuation that at the end when she says 'no', he will finally get to know that he has a pair of balls hanging around his dick and how he expresses this feeling is by 'bitching' about her, saying random shit about her n all( not all of them do that though)... many times guys are even found commiting suicides, crying like a fat cry baby n many other types of simmilar activities are being seen in heart broken north indian guys.. (notice, all that for some pretty face that he didnt even get to know that well on the 1st place...)
Weird part of the story is this that this never ending cheesy story based on a 'despo' guy faking it all along and a 'proud' girl daydreaming in some unrealistic bollywood land is called 'love'.
Seriously, give me a break..... -__-
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