The clear skies and the empty roads.....

"Birds of a feather flock together..."

but very few people understand that if you are a bird of a slightly different feather then it is also very important that you learn to appreciate the clear skies and the empty roads that you will have to come across in life... and guess what, its not always that easy....

This piece is dedicated to all those moments that i had to spend in the world within me, sitting beside the river of time, staring at the clear blue skies and those silent empty roads....... . .

Its weird when someone says "I am different". You either think that the guy is just another big douche bag trying to show off or you will say that the guy is just another despo trying his best to get hold of the lime light. But what if the lime light is trapped in a negative photo where the black goes white, the white goes black.. n the lime light that you had been bragging about just turns out to be a large shadow with the whole crowd drifting away into their own made out whiteness...... . . 

well i am pretty sure that guys who get to live a very big part of their childhood under such shadows donot really speak out "I am different" but its the world, the fate, the time itself that screams out "You are different".

So if today I say "I am different".... i guess i am not a douche bag, not a despo but just a silent kid who gives a nod to all the crap that the world has said for all this time.

For some reason or another I have always found it difficult to camouflage with the crowd....

....sometimes when i reach a place, i find them to have already left it far behind them. ( my lacking in maturity at times and the late biological clock..)

....sometimes i myself dont feel like getting inside the crowd (my choices, my preferences at times are very different from the group... dont know why...)

 ....sometimes i leave behind the crowd far behind.(well, i am not an einstein in every field but yeah there have been times and in things that i have found them trying to catch up with me... really NOT trying to brag over here)

....sometimes its the crowd that tries to leave me alone far behind them (yup... alienation is the exact word... sometimes its the views and the ways that some how get me alienated.... but i believe i blend in much better now )

 ...sometimes i am afraid of the crowd and try to stay as far away as possible (dont like using the word afaid any more but just that this piece has reflections of my childhood... a childhood of being bullied around.... a childhood riddled with  loss, vacant spots, fear.... n the fact that i somehow someway started liking the distant views......  )

 .....n sometimes its just that me n the crowd really don't have anything to do with each other!!:P
(well, many times i am just not interested in group events!! like i am interested in theoretical physics.... a theoretical physicist works alone. It is his own views... his own perception  that finally stands out as his own identity.) 

But i guess as time flowed by i have learned to appreciate the beautiful clear skies and the  silent roads... now when i try to look back along the flow of time i still see all those silent snapshots lighting up in my mind......

i can again see all those lines, points and the beautiful scalene triangles sprout up in beautiful patterns... n the passion that i had for geometry....

i still see the mystery of seeing the catenary hang in it's own unknown equation that i found out... the mystery of the dancing electric fields and the way they developed into magnetic fields.... n how madly i went after higenberg's principle.....: )

i still see that beautiful girl from my corner bench's view... the fair face with open hair hanging around her neck.. n the side views of that enchanting innocent smile... yeah she was my 1st crush..... . .

it seems the little dodo within me is still able to find some small ways to hold on to some of the beautiful days i have left behind in the dark lands of my childhood.... n i can't stop admiring him for doing so....

but now when i sometimes look down at the river of time to see my reflection.... even now when i stand before the mirror before going to sleep.... i feel proud of whoever i see... i dont regret n i dont regret that i stand alone... coz at the end of the day when someone has to stand before the mirror he has to stand alone..... coz at the end of the day when it comes to seeing  my reflection in the river of time... i want to see just ' me '...

n of course i know that it hardly matters how lonely it gets over here in the world within me.. at the end of the day i ll always have 'the clear skies and the empty roads' who have been with me for such a long time..... : )