The lazy days and the stagnant times at home do come up with its own surprises n breaks at times. This time it was my mom trying to take me to a temple for the evening.. or rather 'ordering' me to do so. Now many of you who are really religious and daily goers to temples might be finding me awkward over here and so i guess i should take you guys along with me to this little journey. A journey along the river of time back to my childhood.
I grew up in a Hindu family. Mom was always pretty religious, dad - not so much until along the way i started finding him develop faith as well. So within this set up i grew up with my mom doing all the daily rituals and teaching all the basic stuffs like God is one who looks over us , who has made this world , who punishes the bad n takes care of the good people... She even gave me a locket and has made the little 3 by 3 room for the photo of Ramthhakur (a guru followed largely by the bongs) n all other Hindu idols at my room.
But the only thing that seemed to be the problem was me. I was never able to find anything special in the photo or the idols. I could never realize the rationality or the basic urge of worshiping any God or believing in any supernatural superior spirit of that sort.
For some reason i have never been able to catch their wave n every time they take me to the temples or the religious functions i kind of feel left out or awkward.. And as i grew up.. i started developing a passion for science especially physics and maths and all these things started becoming more and more senseless to me...
And even though i have a deep respect for the rich diversity and the beautiful cultures of the world i always used to hate these Hindu rituals and irrational ways of looking at the world coz somehow someway i used to feel as if they were imposed on me... i absolutely hate it when something is imposed on me...
Even though i dont mean any disrespect but frankly speaking.. When i look at the spiritual idols.. -snakes around the neck or a four handed person with weapons of left back days or even when i see a lady who is riding a lion i kind of think if they are actually designed by people like us. I mean the foot prints of 'artificial' human thinking are all over. People who wanted to understand why the world is the way it is , who made this world n why things happen the way they happen made them finally appreciate the amount of thinking and power that might have been required to design this universe. So they imagined the gods with immense power.. powers like someone having four hands or a lady with the power of riding a lion....
But i wonder at times if these ideas take us away from the truth.. the beautiful truth that lies beneath the amazing mysteries of nature.. of why really is the sky blue?... of how the sky touching the lands at the horizon can mean that the sky has actually curved around behind the lands.. which means the lands must be curving too along with it too which finally tells you that this earth must be round!!!...
or even of how the sounds of the waves create symphony.. of how a psychopath killer can have a distorted childhood which must have made him to grow into a different mind pattern... of how the lift falls along the curvature of the distorted space-time... of how the electron never falls into the nucleus as before it can it diffuses into beautiful clouds of uncertainty.... n i can just keep blabbering all day....... . . :D
But the point is not that. The point is that i really dont know much. I too dont know why n how the world has come forth, who made this world , why every thing happens the way they do n yes there are many other things that i dont understand.. but i dont want to assume my answers. I am not afraid of not knowing things.. of being lost in a mysterious universe, which as far as i can tell is the way it really is. I would rather keep looking and keep searching and appreciate the mighty universe for the way it is. I would rather accept nature along with her mystique beauty... I dont want to imagine nature to have been created by the hands of God. I want her to be free.. to be wild... to be completely independent from the minds of a mechanical power.... I personally dont like to believe in the existence of a God.
But then again... i guess it is important to realize that 'reality' itself is very much relative n i shouldnt impose on others my ideas or my ways. The world should be free n everyone should be allowed to have their own ways. So even though i will never be able to appreciate the ideas of God but i wont mind sharing the seat with someone who does.. like right now i am sharing it with a beautiful etrovert bengali woman whom i have known since the day i was born. N guess where we are heading to...
a beautiful temple at the end of the Jail road;-)
I grew up in a Hindu family. Mom was always pretty religious, dad - not so much until along the way i started finding him develop faith as well. So within this set up i grew up with my mom doing all the daily rituals and teaching all the basic stuffs like God is one who looks over us , who has made this world , who punishes the bad n takes care of the good people... She even gave me a locket and has made the little 3 by 3 room for the photo of Ramthhakur (a guru followed largely by the bongs) n all other Hindu idols at my room.
But the only thing that seemed to be the problem was me. I was never able to find anything special in the photo or the idols. I could never realize the rationality or the basic urge of worshiping any God or believing in any supernatural superior spirit of that sort.
For some reason i have never been able to catch their wave n every time they take me to the temples or the religious functions i kind of feel left out or awkward.. And as i grew up.. i started developing a passion for science especially physics and maths and all these things started becoming more and more senseless to me...
And even though i have a deep respect for the rich diversity and the beautiful cultures of the world i always used to hate these Hindu rituals and irrational ways of looking at the world coz somehow someway i used to feel as if they were imposed on me... i absolutely hate it when something is imposed on me...
Even though i dont mean any disrespect but frankly speaking.. When i look at the spiritual idols.. -snakes around the neck or a four handed person with weapons of left back days or even when i see a lady who is riding a lion i kind of think if they are actually designed by people like us. I mean the foot prints of 'artificial' human thinking are all over. People who wanted to understand why the world is the way it is , who made this world n why things happen the way they happen made them finally appreciate the amount of thinking and power that might have been required to design this universe. So they imagined the gods with immense power.. powers like someone having four hands or a lady with the power of riding a lion....
But i wonder at times if these ideas take us away from the truth.. the beautiful truth that lies beneath the amazing mysteries of nature.. of why really is the sky blue?... of how the sky touching the lands at the horizon can mean that the sky has actually curved around behind the lands.. which means the lands must be curving too along with it too which finally tells you that this earth must be round!!!...
or even of how the sounds of the waves create symphony.. of how a psychopath killer can have a distorted childhood which must have made him to grow into a different mind pattern... of how the lift falls along the curvature of the distorted space-time... of how the electron never falls into the nucleus as before it can it diffuses into beautiful clouds of uncertainty.... n i can just keep blabbering all day....... . . :D
But the point is not that. The point is that i really dont know much. I too dont know why n how the world has come forth, who made this world , why every thing happens the way they do n yes there are many other things that i dont understand.. but i dont want to assume my answers. I am not afraid of not knowing things.. of being lost in a mysterious universe, which as far as i can tell is the way it really is. I would rather keep looking and keep searching and appreciate the mighty universe for the way it is. I would rather accept nature along with her mystique beauty... I dont want to imagine nature to have been created by the hands of God. I want her to be free.. to be wild... to be completely independent from the minds of a mechanical power.... I personally dont like to believe in the existence of a God.
But then again... i guess it is important to realize that 'reality' itself is very much relative n i shouldnt impose on others my ideas or my ways. The world should be free n everyone should be allowed to have their own ways. So even though i will never be able to appreciate the ideas of God but i wont mind sharing the seat with someone who does.. like right now i am sharing it with a beautiful etrovert bengali woman whom i have known since the day i was born. N guess where we are heading to...
a beautiful temple at the end of the Jail road;-)
nice recap for my story as well.
ReplyDeleteyour story!!? o_O
ReplyDeleteoh i get it... neva mind..
ReplyDeleteand yes, nice to have someone with the same perception ;-)