On the Closing lines..

what if i got the poem of life all wrong

what if a certain side of me is all alone

what if my painting has fallen short of a few shades

Before it gets stained with red and gleefully fades

I want to stare at it with all my pride and say

' The painting belongs to me and no one else

No one else... '






____________________ _ _


Well, i guess its about time i pull the curtains on 'his confessions'. Its been a nice ride and it was great to know that i always had a stage where i could go all drunk and come back all light. 'From there to here' was pretty much the whole blog in a single article and a summary of the entire time i spent with it.
I would still keep blogging though.. simply coz its fun but i guess i have hit a certain level of maturity where you aren't supposed to blabber all your personal crap but i guess in that way i cant do it with 'his confessions' coz over here it was always about staying honest , anonymous and true to your heart.

My next blog is ' Cigarettes and Equations '
Its a lighter take on life and world, nature and physics.
So i guess thats about it. See you guys on the other side

Cheers
Chitrodeep

From there to here

Life is funny in the way it drifts by, catching waves that you think you know where they might take you but then you never really reach, its someone else who reaches, someone who is quite like you in some ways and not like you in many other ways. Change of course is inevitable, some negative, some positive but i guess the whole point is to try to evolve with time rather than change. That is how i concluded my long walk from a bad Classical Mechanics exam to my room.. And along the way, my mind kept turning the pages of my journey through last five years, of how i got from there to here. 

The kid i knew..

Year 2008 was when i left my school and my childhood which apparently was gleefully painted with lots of red marks and bad grades. It was like one of those classic tragedies that really deserved a happy ending and to everyone's surprise it did. With a decent average of 85% i passed out along with clearing National maths Olympiad. Thanks to geometry and my die hard passion for it but sadly that was also the year where i had to leave behind my lines, points and circles just like a kid hides his favorite toys before taken away into a boarding school.

Eventually, JEE preparation started and just like a typical Indian high school life, we were more buried in problems than in anything else. School of course had become secondary, i was one of those blue moons in my school. They only saw me 17% of the year which was also my attendance percentage! Eventually i made many new friends.. Piku, Lattu, Ria, Sayan and many others mostly in tuition. Life was simple, wake up, study, go to tuition, come back, study, sleep and the wheel kept rolling just the same way day in and day out as they had expected from me a lot after maths Olympiad which in other words meant 'This boy here, ll be an IITian.'

In these two years, things of course took a long walk out of the bitten track and it took away the possibilities of ever coming back. Along the way i developed a strong passion for physics, it was amazing to know that the lines, points, equations with which i played along for a big part of my childhood can actually come out of the white sheet and explain reality and nature as it is. That was big for me and i got hooked for good. I was good with problem solving but along with the passion came questions like why is there even a magnetic field for a flowing electron? (Newtonially, it shouldn't be there), why is those conservation laws even true?.. and with that went away all the possibilities of ever clearing JEE.. because i was more passionate than motivated.

It was about the same time i met this beautiful girl who also happened to be a good friend of mine. It was like one of those stories where two friends got close, got confused, got awkward and apparently did deserve a nice happy ending but didnt. Eventually the year came to an end, JEE results came out.
I flunked big time and she of course made it to IIT. 
My school life ended and so did all my dreams of getting through JEE, of taking her out, of doing physics and of me being me. I didn't of course ask her out, i couldn't, not like that.
Life moved on and she drifted away in a big cloud of memories, nevertheless i do have a lot of respect for her though.

I was depressed, distorted, unsure and dumped in NIT Calicut with electronics. The campus was nice, i met some really amazing people.. Ashish, Deepraj, Chaubey, Vidhu, Haopu, Dhanish, Rahul and many more. For the first half of my 1st sem, i was pretty dead. It was as if i left a fight not because i was broken but because i didnt have it in me to fight back. It took me a while to get my act together though and eventually i realized what went wrong. I started preparing for jee again and this time i solved a lot of problems and i always had a omr sheet and a stop clock to time me. Things changed eventually, my mock scores soared up but NIT scores crashed big time. I was 4.88 1st sem, 0.00 next sem!
But that's alright, at the end of the year i did get through JEE and because maths was made easy my high scores in maths paper of JEE didnt quite earn me a major advantage and i landed a rank of 1891, just at the levels of okay.
I said bye to NIT and all the beautiful times it gave me with some really good friends and headed towards IIT Delhi.

The man in the making..

IIT Delhi was one of those anti climaxes in my life. It was like Bond is about to pull the trigger in between the villain's eyes and right at that very moment his pants went down! 
i took up engineering physics but eventually during my 1st year i realized it wasn't about looking at how the physics of the atom defies Newton's mechanics, it wasn't about how gravity falls apart to understand causality, it was more about finding thickness of thin films and switching on light inside fibers and seeing what comes out through the other side.
So all in all, my 1st year was pretty depressing, i had brawls with people, feuds in groups, i got into smoking (which i dont regret.... davidoff classics are the thing! \m/ :D ) and some amount of drinking. The year ended with a shitty reputation and a 7.2 gpa...

The next year started and i finally got into physics. Physics was amazing now because these were the basic theoretical courses but i landed myself with a lung infection and i had to withdraw the sem at the end. I came back next sem and i had some pretty good courses this time too. Quantum mechanics by Ajit Kumar was amazing but i was detached from studies for about 1 n half year so it all became a little tough to concentrate and bring in the same old momentum. 
I met some really amazing people my 2nd year and most of them were exchange students... Steph, Cyril, Claire, Antoinne and Charlez. We went to Darjeeling on a 15 days' trip and it sure was a blast!
http://chitrodeep.blogspot.com/2013/03/our-times-with-darjeeling.html

Claire and I used to study together in R2 and  Steph got me into nude art.. many nights we hung out in clubs and it was like IIT life was finally coming alive! But just like every season ends, this one ended on a pretty sad note, the guys left as the year ended. We said our good byes and caught our own waves along divergent world lines.
But thats alright, life is like that i guess, moments flow, we grab a few, we miss a few.. the special ones stay special always but you leave them behind knowing they ll always give you a happy sight when you look back.

At the end of the year i did a summer intern along with Nilesh under Prof. Ravishankar who is a visting faculty from IITk and a theoretical physicist working in Quantum Field Theory. Nilesh and I made an amazing team and we equally had a great time solving the problem on Supersymmetric landau levels. At the end of the summer we did solve and we got some new results and Prof. was really excited about it. We are still trying to understand it though, the underlying physics behind the singular potential we discovered. We most probably ll get a paper published at the end of this year.

After my exchange friends left i was lonely for a while, walked the halls like a ghost but through Nilesh i made some great friends.. Sengar, Charul and Co. Hehe... I have made some other good friends too.. Shantanu, Arnav and Preeti... life is great in the way of how wide is the spectrum of different people can be and through the last five years, now i know there's no good way of defining good people with whom you can connect with : ) 

The summer intern was amazing in a way that i finally realized what i want to do. I want to become a theoretical physicist some day and i will because thats how i am. A dream seen is a dream to die for.
The next sem was full Theoretical physics and mathematics and Einstein's General Relativity by Prof. Ravishankar. Because of the ups and downs along the way, my momentum with studies isnt as amazing as it used to be but i am still in the game of playing around with equations.. because thats the only thing i do and i know and in some ways give meaning to my identity.

Things have changed a lot in many ways in last five years.. Now i know what i want to do, i also work as the editorial cartoonist for BSP and i am still working on my physics. I hope someday i will regain the same passion i had with physics, apparently my classical mechanics says i have to work harder to be the same old guy who could solve any problem of Irodov mechanics or from anywhere what so ever. But thats alright, the fight aint over yet and besides a good theoretical physicist never leaves an unsolved problem behind because if you have dreamed of knowing why nature is the way she is, you need to be wild enough to never let her go.

PS: I am sorry if it went a lil over sized but 5 years are a lot to process.

On the Other Side of the Smoke..

I didnt sleep the last whole night, had an exam today at 8. So apparently my head is on a non thinking, non working mode and all that it wants is to crash on a bed. But if i do however go back to hostel i ll crash and miss my lunch at 12! which i dont want coz my wallet is more broke than the brokeback mountains.. didnt get the joke? neva mind, it was a 'gay' joke anyway! 3:D
So what do you do basically in such a situation? you drop by in your ever so abandoned blog and write ever so 'never written before' classic crap! 
Ladies and gentleman, this post is dedicated to the age old question that has left a part of the mankind baffled for a long time....

'What really lies on the other side of the smoke?'
Why do smokers smoke? i mean they definitely know they are stabbing their lungs and killing themselves at the end of the day then why do these idiots do it? what is the 'reason'?

Imagine you are sitting on a moonlit corner seat of a pub with a glass of scotch in one hand and eyes staring at the big mix of old, classy, young, nice, sad, happy people and all that you want to think is not to think anymore of any thing.. Slowly as time flows by you keep drifting into the mild soft rock going on and the tired eyes are unable to make out all those people mixing away in a big bloated mix of paints with every sip of your chilled humble scotch..

Eventually a girl in black gown, pretty tall; may be a few inches short of 6 ft with long open hair falling all around her, a spanish cut light caramel face with bright red lipstick on and a cigarette in one hand while a glass of red wine in the other approaching towards you..

and this is what she says..

Hi, apparently the world has deserted serial killers but i dont think you would mind sharing a drink and walking me home..

Would you go?
well, i would and many other people who love smoking would...

People want to know what lies on the other side of the smoke..
Well, nothing lies on the other side of the smoke and even if anything does, its immaterial; its never about how you get burnt out at the end, its about getting lost in the smoke along the way.... 

___________

Hopefully i did justice to your stupid question; by the way if you don't smoke, dont start. I wouldnt like attending your funeral.. live long, stay happy.. and leave the serial killers in black gowns for us! :D~
Now if you excuse me, there's a shitty lunch, a stack of davidoff Classics, a lovely undone bed and lots of studies for two back to back exams waiting for me.. 

Untill then... here is an honest smoker signing off!

11 thoughts in Dark Humour

1. I always thought that life would open up after iit. It did, n it chewed too.... now i am just waiting when it would go for a dump n flush me out....

2. Every wednesday our mess serves chicken. If the piece is bigger than 2 inches you get 1! If its less than that you get 2.. Its more of a way of showing that chicken is still not extinct actually..

3. I dreamed of becoming a physicist. N then i look at my electrodynamics prof. and realize that any dream no matter how big, can go horribly wrong n still come true!

4. I was sitting at the wind tunnel a couple of days back n i saw this girl i was about to hit on. But i didnt coz i found out she aint single. Its wrong you know.. Its like i am trying to walk into society n it looks at my Y chromosomes... n then says, 'Sorry sir, those aren't allowed!'

5. There are two types of people who have eaten up our society. People with money and people with religion. N then there are two types of people who have been eaten up- people who lived for money and people who craved for religion...
Frankly, everywhere i go i get to see a lot of eaten up digested zombies dancing around and going.... gaaaaaa.... n i am like 'oh yeah, sure, thats exotic, now fuck off!'

6. At times, oh well actually lotsa times, people tell me that smoking kills and i would die and shit this, shit that n bla bla bla.... 
n i think, ' Okay, so i would die and he would live... well, if god really had to make so many immortals, we sure could use a lil less talkative ones! '

7. At times people tell me unemployment stories and what i would do with a physics degree... 
i just tell them that i would go back home, build a massage parlor, give random massages to fat-arse aunties while telling them physics stories of fast electrons and bending time!

8. So she was really drunk and beautiful that night so i gave her a lift home, kissed her and returned back to iit. I guess that was the 2nd time i said no to alcohol flavored sex(1st time on iit roof)... 
I still feel both the girls no matter where they are now and all my sperm cells in my sperm city must be laughing at me.. saying, 'Aaaah, that helpful worthless clown!'
I dont blame them, i think the same. But i dont regret it though... oh well, may be a lil bit. 

9. As a high-school kid iit was all about going abroad at the end of 2nd yr, 3rd yr and then going away n never coming back at the end of the 4th. This summer i left my foreign intern just to work in IIT Delhi to work under a theoretical physicist who has come from IITk. Honestly, all that i come to know now is that dreams dont commute. 
Guess Hisenberg just left that for us to figure out on our own....

10. So i had this friend in my room that day n i was like... dude what is the 1st thing you see in a girl? he kept on going from eyes to face to waist to personality n all... i guess the clusters came in at 8th n 9th. 
N then i was like... 'guys are going gay, n its worse coz this time gays are equipped well for producing more gays!!' I still doubt it though ;-)

11. I had a friend during the summers and we were working under the same prof, different projects though. Being physics interns working in hardcore theory we were proud people. And at times in reading room, he would see photos in fb of engineers in gown, graduating and he would be like..
'look, one more useless engineer enters the world'
me- ' yeah kinda amazing how happy they become... to become nothing at all!'
n then we laughed..
I am pretty sure some engineer right now is looking at it from the other side of the screen n saying...
'look, one more unemployed worthless physicist is about to crowd the over-crowded world' n having a laugh with his other engineer friend at the same time.
I dont mind. Nature is relative n so are you n I. ;-)

Face to face with Feynman

Personally the entire idea of looking up to a role model never seemed attractive or worth appreciating to me. One's journey should be independent and an unguided walk towards a self chosen horizon on a self contained highway.. But then along the way you do come across people and get to know about their stories and every once in a blue moon you do come to admire a few of them truly and get deeply inspired by them. 
One of those few people for me is Richard Feynman.

Feynman was a theoretical physicist of mid 20th century. Nobel laureate for his theory on Quantum Electrodynamics and an eternal figure in physics for many other contributions; Feynman, apart from being one of the most gifted scientists of his times was also a very colorful person- a bongo player, a nude artist, a womanizer n yet a dedicated lover, an eternal enthusiast, a safe cracker, a humorous show-offer, a truly talented lecturer and so much more...
Every physicist like every footballer or every musician has his own style. Feynman was known for his intuition, his very visual imagination and his capability of mathsifying them to equations that in turn could speak for his thoughts loud and clear..

Interesting thing is I came to know of Feynman long after i started pursuing physics. Truth is my entry into physics was very mathematical. As a kid back in school i guess the only thing that i tried and did was mathematics. Even though school maths was pretty trivial and stupid but i still had my own times with classical geometry and algebra. And when i entered in my higher secondary and got into physics, it was truly enlightening in the sense that i got to know that all those lines and circles, xs and ys weren't just little games i used to play on white sheets but those were 'real' as in i could use them to understand things going on in the real world! I guess thats when i got hooked for good. It was only after i finished school, entered iit and while chatting with a friend in fb (i guess Ojas) that he told me that there's this guy called Feynman and " dude's lectures are actually pretty great! " :D

 
____

I wanted to talk about Feynman's path integral formulation of quantum mechanics but then i figured the man truly needs to get a sexy intro! I appreciated Feynman before as a great historical figure but his science was beyond me then so i never could truly appreciate him as a scientist... but a few days back i reached the chapter on path integrals and the Lagrangian formulation in Shankar's QM book and i finally came to see Feynman's work. One word -' amazing ' 

So that's why I dropped by here today to talk about it but then may be many of you dont know about him which is of course not required to appreciate his work but still... dude was awesome so i guess its okay to waste a post just like that and get back to path integrals on the next post! : )

and here are some photos.... enjoy! ;-)

___________________________________________ __ __

the 3 vol.s of Feynman's lectures are still very famous amongst physics students... 

That's Arline, Feynman's colg. time girl friend. She had Tuberculosis. Nevertheless he did marry her even after knowing that she would die soon so that he could take care of her... she died n he went into 'bang everyone phase'

 'lets get banging, shall we??' ;-)

Feynman playing bongos! 
' On the infrequent occasions when I have been called upon in a formal place to play the bongo drums, the introducer never seems to find it necessary to mention that I also do theoretical physics.'







These are some of his sketches.....

that's i guess one of his rough notes... every physics student ends up with a huge collection of these of his own... apparently his doodles were of the same quality as his work unlike us of course! :D














_____

' A poet once said, "The whole universe is in a glass of wine." We will probably never know in what sense he meant that, for poets do not write to be understood. But it is true that if we look at a glass of wine closely enough we see the entire universe. '

' I have a friend who's an artist and he's sometimes taken a view which I don't agree with very well. He'll hold up a flower and say, "Look how beautiful it is," and I'll agree, I think. And he says - "you see, I as an artist can see how beautiful this is, but you as a scientist, oh, take this all apart and it becomes a dull thing." And I think that he's kind of nutty. First of all, the beauty that he sees is available to other people and to me, too, I believe, although I might not be quite as refined aesthetically as he is; but I can appreciate the beauty of a flower. At the same time I see much more about the flower than he sees. I can imagine the cells in there, the complicated actions inside which also have a beauty. I mean it's not just beauty at this dimension of one centimetre, there is also beauty at a smaller dimension, the inner structure. Also the processes, the fact that the colours in the flower evolved in order to attract insects to pllinate it is interesting - it means that insects can see the colour. It adds a question: Does this aesthetic sense also exist in the lower forms? Why is it aesthetic? All kins of interesting questions which shows that science knowledge only adds to the excitement and mystery and the awe of a flower. It only adds; I don't understand how it subtracts. '

    

Ambiguity

I was happy
I was a happy sperm when i won the race.
Scared, i cried like hell
Seeing the old nurse's tired face.
I was a dreamer
I dreamed of free wings and a newer horizon,
the world on the other side and a bright new sun.
But then hey, 
They never taught me how to dream,
A lil too grey.. A lil less did i say..
That their reality always lacked the cream.

I was a traveller
I travelled through the stagnant planes, ups, downs
Pretty strangers who walked by in glossy gowns..
But then this heart that i carried along 
Always bore this undefined , unrealized ambiguity
A soul drifting by in sheer anonymity..

I am still me
Anonymous, obscure, confused..
and yet there's always one more dream to see
One more highway that wants me to flee.
And why so hard is it even now
That this empty soul cant give up on reality?..

The Empty Dance Floor...

I sketched her and i sketched her nice
With empty eyes and unreal lies.
Empty dance floors and forbidden rythms
Confused me to uncanny rhymes.
I stared at her and i wont anymore
I find she never was singing the single lore
But i still stand here beside the empty floor
With a single heart that wants to soar.
Man, i should have known she wasnt single
Never was the friendly stranger up to mingle
But then again the poor boy walks
and he walks away from the empty dance floor
With piercing eyes set across the big blue shore.

The cigarette burnt, the dj stopped
The girls left and reality dropped
The smoke cleared
and i could finally see whats left
moonlit, my corner seat
did finally get me in its debt..
The last sip of my scotch that i did save
Didnt quite save me anymore...
But nevertheless i did embrace the empty dance floor..... . .


PS: Next blog post would be on my project and physics... I have had it with stupid despo chick-hunting times...... -_-

The North Indian Algorithm of Having a ' g f '

Reason why i am still single is this--> (so dont fucking ask me again why i am c-| )

North Indian Algorithm Of Getting Girls

Phase1
1. Sit amongst your friends and spot a chick and lock your target on her like an eternal despo.
2. Stalk her on fb, follow her around and eventually you get to know her friends n movements n all..
3. Find a guy friend of hers whom you got to know from 2 and make him a mutual one. 
4.Use him to get her in a pre-planned situation with your mutual. Eventually you drop by and make him introduce you to her and vice versa.  

Now the poor giirl thinks you are not a creepy despo (which you are) and you just 'happened' to meet her just like one of her favorite 'bollywood' movies..

Phase2
5. Become a blood sucking fevicol and attend her hang outs and keep the mutual guy pretty close.
6. Eventually you exchange no.s with her and start whats called the 'phone complications'... Through this you go from 'friend' to 'close friend' to 'closer friend' to more... This part basically includes cheesy smses and stuff.
7. And finally when you have fed her with enough complications to completely leave her confused, you find the right time and then do what they call 'propose' 
(weird! people here dont know the difference between 'propose' which is used as in marraige proposals and 'confess' which i guess is the right word but then hey, you cant help it, its north india sweetheart..)
8. If she accepts it you take her out on a coffee and if she doesnt you go back to your pile of single friends and bitch about her and say shit and look for your next target.

So, thats how it works over here. Not that i hate north indians (i actually have a lot of good friends, guys and girls) but frankly speaking, wearing mini skirts and getting drunk doesnot show you are modernised. In the rest of the world the algorithm is simple.
1. You walk up to a pretty girl and strike a conversation.
2. and then If she is interesting (which she might or might not be,), ask her out for a coffee.
3. Take her around and if you guys are compatible and commute then move on from 'dating' to a 'relationship' or else retire back and stay friends and part ways.... 

See, its that simple for the rest of the world but that aint gonna work here, why?
coz..
1. guys are 'afraid' of girls. (in a mall, i asked a friend of mine to go hit on a girl, he told me he almost had a heart attack while walking upto her! :D )
2. girls get freaked out by strangers. (A friend of mine who is a girl, told me to keep chatting with this chick for '2 months' before i ask her to come out for a coffee! :D )

Even though its all weird from an alien eye but this puzzling society is also self consistent and logical. The girl is never really sure if he is going to get drunk and stick a fucking rod inside her crotch (Delhi rape case... you never hear these anywhere else....) or creep her out in some other of his exotic ways...
And even the guy has to fake the entire thing and make that classic 'bollywood' entry (so that the girl doesnt consider him to be a psycho creepy rapist or something, which clearly he is not mosta the time)... and then pretend to be a casual innocent friend who sometimes looses it and acts funny and confusing (thats how you incorporate the  cheesy smses n everything..) and finally hit her before she knows it. If you dont fake it, she ll freak out.... and if you arent smart enough you might just scare the girl away.

Not all the guys make it though, most of the time the guys after the entire of his 4 months' struggle just get 'bro-zoned' , 'friend-zoned' n all types of other special 'zones' are there. 
Many times the guy infatuates so much along the way coz notice the guy is after the girl like mad for such a long time and that too even without knowing her that well. And its because of this heavy infatuation that at the end when she says 'no', he will finally get to know that he has a pair of balls hanging around his dick and how he expresses this feeling is by 'bitching' about her, saying random shit about her n all( not all of them do that though)... many times guys are even found commiting suicides, crying like a fat cry baby n many other types of simmilar activities are being seen in heart broken north indian guys.. (notice, all that for some pretty face that he didnt even get to know that well on the 1st place...)

Weird part of the story is this that this never ending cheesy story based on a 'despo' guy faking it all along and a 'proud' girl daydreaming in some unrealistic bollywood land is called 'love'.
Seriously, give me a break..... -__-

Me? well, err..

Hi.. i am Chitrodeep. Friends call me chitro.

I am a physics student at IIT Delhi doing my btech in engineering physics. Becoming a theoretical physicist someday is a dream but for now i am just enjoying the whole drive on the highway towards it. As every chapter and every day unfolds i get to see nature coming alive a li'l bit more and nothing gives a man more pleasure than getting to know why nature is the way she is.. So, yeah physics is a passion that defines me but then its not the only one.

Apart from physics I also like cartooning, traveling , drinking red wine, smoking Davidoff Classics, meeting new strangers, seeing new places (i strive for change and to be on the road in search for newer horizons; to somewhere away from any given boring social nest is what i am made for! 6-j )
I love listening to Nirvana, Iron and Wine, Fossils etc; Favorite pass time's got to be 
1. sketching nudes (always had a mysterious appreciation and attraction towards the feminine form!O_o) 
2. reading Calvin and Hobbes strips. (Bill Watterson sure has given the world an amazing window to escape into a world of a small lonely kid and his imaginary friend, 'a tiger'! and what he has done will echo through eternity.)

Other than that i am a pretty chilled out guy who likes taking life as it comes and leave it by as it passes away. For me living the dreams is so much more important than seeing them and waiting for them to come true.
At one point of my life i never thought writing could ever be my cup of tea but i guess life truly is a wonderful journey of self discoveries. So here i am, looking forward to read, write n share..;-)

Having said all that i would have to say that i am still on the process of self discovery and selfish excursions; I still dont know completely who Chitrodeep is and how i can expand his horizons more in newer dimensions. I still dont know how much more wind his good ol' wings need beneath them and how much more storm they would love to challenge. So yeah, the quest is ' O N ' babes..;-) 

I stare at it and i decide to stand by it, my good ol' painting

It still seems some shades are given while some still need making.... 

wow! writing about yourself was sorta...  part creepy and part fun! 3:D~

FB Expired Quotes - Part II

' To those who do not know mathematics it is difficult to get across a real feeling as to the beauty, the deepest beauty of nature; If you want to learn about nature, to appreciate nature, it is necessary to understand the language that she speaks in '
- Richard Feynman

"Theres real poetry in real world, science is the poetry of reality"
- Richard Dawkins

"A man who knows everything. This, reportedly, was my reply to a school teacher asking me what I'd like to become when I grow up. I was eight years old, or thereabouts.... And what I really meant was 'scientist', someone who unravels the secrets of the fundamental Laws of Nature."
- Gerardus 't Hooft

" Keep up some kind of minimum with other things so that society doesn't stop you from doing anything at all "
- Feynman



_________________

' http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6xLYt265ZM '
_______

' Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. '
- Marianne Williamson

“A man may conquer a million men in battle but one who conquers himself is, indeed, the greatest of conquerors.”
- Gautama Buddha

" Mind is everything. Every thought you create manifests itself in real world; If you didnt achieve something you strive for - you simply didnt believe in it enough "
- Mario Novak

“Defeat is a state of mind; no one is ever defeated until defeat has been accepted as a reality.”
- Bruce Lee

'Just being a mediocre driver has never been my ambition. That's not my style.'
- Michael Schumarcher

'I feel an endless need to learn, to improve, to evolve...'
- Christiano Ronaldo

"If you are going through hell, keep going'
- Winston Churchill

'To invent your own life’s meaning is not easy, but it’s still allowed, and I think you’ll be happier for the trouble.'
- Bill Watterson

' Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts'
- Albert Einstein

' Dream as if you ll live forever, live as if you ll die today '
- James Dean

' Watching the smoke dance out of a cigarette is like watching a girl dance out of her dress.' 
- Terri Guillemets

' I was working and going to school seven days a week. I was watching a lot of adult films, and to put it simply, I saw a blank canvas that needed to be painted. '
- Sasha Grey
____________
_________________________________





' http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=giV1h4iwFVo '
- Iron and Wine



" The finest day I ever had was when tomorrow never came."
- Kurt Cobain



“You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help.”
- Calvin And Hobbes




_____i guess, that would be it.. 'the end '_____





Oh WAIT!!

"http://kothaosur.blogspot.in/2012/04/amen-lyrics-bedroom-2012-rupam.html  :-j "
- Rupam Islam

With My Broken Pencil..

Like sea shells washed by the sea
Like two random leaves of the same tree
Like a breeze blows by in an empty street
Tell me how likely it is really
That one shell would set another free

In some random corner of a random table
On some random day, in our reading room
I happened to see a strange wild flower bloom.
Three tables away, three galaxies apart
The three seconds that you stole from me
I still wonder why they walked away with such glee...

But then again who really knows
A few missed heartbeats
Or just my stupid y-chromosomes.  
Guess i would just let it be
Two random shells lost somewhere in the sea
An unknown breeze that just had to flee...

But I would like to tell you this though
That nature and her games of dice
Or any of her randomized equations
At times just stop seeming nice....
In some random corner of a random table
I see you take a sip of coffee, real casual
Only this time you stared back, deep and stable.
As i sit here and sketch you with my broken pencil
How should i tell you how i feel..
Never knew a coffee could set a thirsty lion free
A dream inside a cage that might never get to be. 





PS: dont worry, I am still the good'ol dude and not some romantic shithead.. its just a phase n it will pass..... ;-)

Fb Expired Quotes - Part I

****These are the quotes that i put up in Facebook. I am not a big quotations fan but someway or the other they kept accumulating for years and they sort of seemed old and expired so i felt like removing them from fb and figured blog's a sexy place to dump them, had to dump them somewhere.....




"there's no point living if you can't feel alive"
-The World is not Enough

"What I cannot create, I do not understand."
- Richard Feynman

“I think it's much more interesting to live not knowing than to have answers which might be wrong.” 
― Richard  Feynman


“Poets say science takes away from the beauty of the stars - mere globs of gas atoms. I too can see the stars on a desert night, and feel them. But do I see less or more? 
The vastness of the heavens stretches my imagination - stuck on this carousel my little eye can catch one - million - year - old light. A vast pattern - of which I am a part... '
― Richard  Feynman

“Know the rules well, so you can break them effectively.” 
― Dalai Lama XIV
________________ _

' However, in the end it was amazingly easy to prove.. '
-Lev Landau

" There's real poetry in the real world: Science is the poetry of reality"
-Richard Dawkins









"Everybody needs a hobby..."
"So what's yours?"
N then bond stares back with his piercing eyes...
' Resurrection ' 
--James Bond 

"Your love makes me strong, your hate makes me unstoppable."
-Christiano Ronaldo

' I feel an endless need to learn, to improve, to evolve'
-Christiano Ronaldo

"its not the world around you that ll help you to break out someday, its the one that lies within you.... . . "
- Anonymous

“A man may conquer a million men in battle but one who conquers himself is, indeed, the greatest of conquerors.”
- Gautama Buddha

“Don't fear failure. — Not failure, but low aim, is the crime. In great attempts it is glorious even to fail.” 
- Bruce Lee
______________ _

“Forget about winning and losing; forget about pride and pain. Let your opponent graze your skin and you smash into his flesh; let him smash into your flesh and you fracture his bones; let him fracture your bones and you take his life! Do not be concerned with escaping safely- lay your life before him...” 
― Bruce Lee








“Physics is like sex: sure, it may give some practical results, but that's not why we do it.” 
- Richard Feynman

'It's the subtlety of sexiness. The moment you try to be sexy, then it's not.'
- Daniel Craig

"You do not fit a cigarette into your schedule; you give it a moment and it occupies your time and enriches it."
-Zino Davidoff

"In any case, the cigar is even more attractive in its nudity."
-Zino Davidoff

"If nothing is serious anymore, then there's nothing to satirize.
- Berkeley Breathed

"I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.”
- Kurt Cobain

“It's better to burn out than fade away.”
-Kurt Cobain
___________________ _

 'I have a hard time with morals. All I know is what feels right, what's more important to me is being honest about who you are. Morals I get a little hung up on.'
- Brad Pitt







**All watterson quotes are calvin's words from his strip "calvin n hobbes": )

 “You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help.”
― Bill Watterson

 “If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently. ”
― Bill Watterson

“Life's a lot more fun when you aren't responsible for your actions.” 
― Bill Watterson
_________________ _

"Its never too late to have a happy childhood"
- Berkeley Breathed

'sometimes when it gets a lil difficult to flow with the wave... u can always spread your wild wings wide apart n fly away.. ;-)"
- the lil dodo i once knew...

'm the one with no soul..

I stare at a world, a world this big..
full of people, things and places to dig
Yet its dry as shit, empty as nothing
fill it up with some life if you are alive
but even you are a dead man walking
Not that i care though
Gods and their people were always slow
good enough to crawl down below
fucked up as shit i might be
But i am still an Ignorant me...
Ignorance is bliss, a big masochist miss
Feeling Sad? Vomit your soul out 
All that i can is just eat you out...
Why? Coz 'm after all is as dead as you
Graves come costly, so i joined the crew
They call it the walking crew
Times flew, graves never took me in though
I still walk, stare and talk, fuck and work
But i aint alive, neither are any of you.
N yet, m' the one with no soul like a very few.

11 random confessions! - part I

some are funny.. some are just plane stupid! :D

#1 ' You mind if I burn all your hair bands! ? ?  -:-| '

I always found chicks who tie their hair to be such a waste... i mean why cant someone just inject the fact in their heads that you can look so much better with letting go of it n setting the hair free, seeing it fall all around you ;-)

#2 ' 'Move' your lazy asses, boring people... (-_-)~~ '

I find it really weird how most of the people grow up, plan life, live it out n die in one small place and somewhere around it when the whole fucking world is so large, beautiful, exciting, diverse n waiting to be explored!! O_O

#3 ' Racist n proud of it... 3;D~' 

Redheads, cowgirls, bengalis with big eyes n round faces, northies with tangy facecuts, tribals with sexy eyes n perfect figure and yeah, the straight hair, blacks wih great asses n juicy lips... someway or the other i am a racist who appreciates and respects each race the way they are. (the girls mainly! :P) 

#4 ' Yes, i ll eat you up, just tell'em to cook you well.. B-| '

I am a die-hard carnivore tottally into non-veg... chicken, mutton, fish, prawns, crabs, turtles, lobsters,beef, pork etc.... you name it, i ll dive in! :D

#5 ' I find you amazing... : ) '

The first time i decided to confess to a girl, i decided i ll to do it very differenetly unlike anyone.

This was the plan - i ll call her to come home, show her the place in our roof above the cemented water tank from where the sunset looks amazing (she loved sunsets) n then eventually as i ll flirt along in the friendly-classy way i  always  did, i ll confess in the local rural bengali- 'amar tore bhalo lage' ( ' I find you amazing...' )

never happened - didnt get iit first time - got depressed - left everything n dumped myself in nitC.

#6 ' Why the hell is that kid so different?? >_< '

As a kid i always felt that i have failed badly in taking up the bengali culture before and the northy culture now. I regretted it then n still regret it to some extend.. i think i could have been a way happier person if i could blend in amongst everyone. but then whats gone is gone.... n whats now is kinda weird so.. neva mind :D

#7 ' Yeah, i thought i am adopted or something! <:-7~~ '

As a kid i deeply regretted the fact that i didnt look as attractive as my parents. It sorta drifted away as i kept growing up. Even now it hits me rarely of what all crap i used to think when i see my tall, dark dad and my beautiful bengali beauty! ;-)

#8 ' No, wait, i deny to change!!! O_o '

There has been this sudden switch in my outlook.. i think i am drifting from liking to keep it 'casual' to 'classy' n i am finding this transition kinda weird... i mean i neva thought i ll be into 'good leather boots n wallets, eye gears, red wine, davidoff smokes, smart fit jeans n shirts (hated shirts then ), a slightly formal yet kinda casual accent n stuff... this is freaky n really weird.. :-/ O.o

#9 ' Yeah, i walked back from dead.... i ll do it again #-l '

I dream to be a physicist someday but the track record left till now is not very impressive.. 3rd sem withdrawn coz of lung infection- 4th sem went at the levels of okay... but thats my thing i guess, i always come back from the dead.. 
-flunked iit 1st time n then fought back from nitc hostels, didnt get state olympiad first time n next time i got national, regional n state maths olympiads in same year.. am i bragging?-nope.. I am just trying to stay optimistic n be the fighter that i can........

#10 ' Yes, this sure is one huge problem :- / '

I guess the problem is that i am the 1st nerd in the line of spoiled brats!! i feel i seriously need to be more organised, focussed, calm n disciplined... but i guess your god kept it for the last day of earth (not 'my' god coz i dont believe in one :P)

#11 ' I ll ride, n you ll ride with me... n sooner or later the horizon wont be as far c|-j'

Even though i am a non-veg but i love animals n respect them.. especially the wild ones... coz they are free, natural, unbound, uncaged, unruled. Even then if i have to get a pet of my own i ll have a dark brown andulusian horse someday..... . . ;-) 3:D~

................This is my first 11 confess. post n i know it didnt quite turn out to be as funny as i should have made it.. but then, i guess i ll just give it 'a more spirited afferd' to rub my humour a lil bit more next time!! ;-) :P